There was a time in my life when I just could not stand being single. Actually, I was in two very unique positions. I didn’t want to be single and I was doing everything I could to be in a relationship with an ex. Once God healed me from the ties from that relationship, I still didn’t want to be single. However, I couldn’t do anything about it because I knew that I wasn’t going to be settling for just any available guy and I knew that God wanted me to be single even if I couldn’t stand it. Maybe you can relate?
I’m a college student and I observe both online and in person that there are a lot of people (men and women) in my age bracket who are feeling an emptiness from their singleness. Many of them are in positions to attract and open themselves up to someone who they believe will fill that void. They may even have a desire to hook up or jump from relationship to relationship. As a result, they are distracted, never allowing themselves to spend time alone with God. Other times they meet a “good” guy or girl and settle because they finally met someone who is good enough to satisfy themselves. It’s a cycle that can only end when we allow God to heal our hearts and fill that emptiness so that we can truly live and experience the beauty of singleness and future relationships in Him.
Let’s take a look at Genesis 2 when God formed man and woman.
When God formed Eve, notice that Adam was asleep. After Adam was alone with God (Genesis 2:7), aware of His purpose (Genesis 2:15), and had responsibility (Genesis 2:16, Genesis 2:20) then God said that He would make a helper fit for Him. Afterwards, something very significant happened. God put Adam into a deep sleep to form the woman. Notice how God and Eve were alone before Eve was ever brought to Adam.
In the same way that Adam was alone with God, Eve had to be alone with Him too. I believe that Eve needed to know who God was and who her Creator was lest she confuse Adam as her god or creator and worship him as such. She needed to know that Adam was her partner, her husband, not her god. Likewise, it is not God’s will for you to idolize anyone or anything besides Him. In Scripture God says, “For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God” (Exodus 34:14).
If we are never alone with God but are more focused on our human relationships, then we risk the high chance of idolizing a man or woman. We wish that they will be able to fill our void and end up placing expectations on a human to do what only God can do. Eve was able to experience the beauty of singleness because she experienced God for herself and knew that He alone was God and He alone could be God for her.
I truly believe that the beauty of singleness can only be experienced when we are alone with God. Not alone with 5 people that you “talk to”. Not alone and on weekends hook up with random men or women. Not alone but secretly despise the season that you are in and idolize the idea of having a relationship. God wants to fill the void inside of you for a relationship. He alone can really fill that relational void because He gave us that desire.
He modeled the need for a human to have alone time with just Him when He formed the first man and woman.
After God formed Eve, he brought her to Adam. Once we are in relationship with God and live our lives as worship to Him alone, then we can be sensitive to the voice of The Lord and sensitive to the timing He has for us. We can rest in the Lord’s timing and His ability to lead us to the one He has for us. Until then, enjoy the beauty of singleness. Go on dates with Him, spend hours in His presence, shower His love on others. Experience Him as ABBA Father, as your spouse, and as the lover of your soul.
Glory to God that I am no longer despising my single season. I am experiencing the beauty of singleness now and I am having my needed alone time with Jesus. I am aware of my identity and my purpose on this Earth and focused on my Father’s business. Once upon a time, I wasn’t. I was doing everything I could to somehow end my season of singleness but thank God that He preserved and protected me and I allowed God to heal me and remove any idols from my heart.
Allow Him to do it for you. A man or a woman cannot fill a God-sized void. If you don’t have a desire to spend alone time with God then be honest and ask Him to give you that desire. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your need to even have the desire to be helped.
He wants to do it for you.
Father, I pray that you will give me a desire to be alone with you. During this time of singleness, heal me from areas that I am hurting or feeling empty. Forgive me for the times that I have idolized someone or something as a god. Make me aware of my identity in you and my purpose here on Earth. God protect me from people who will try to distract me from you and the one you have for me. Help me to experience the beauty of singleness and fellowship with you.
In Jesus name I pray,